I hate nerdcore.

Now, I'm going to be honest upfront before I go into what may become a diatribe--I haven't heard that much nerdcore. I've checked out a few of the major player's tracks, I've watched the trailer for that documentary, I've read the articles, and I've observed the culture (via blog posts and the like). I'm not an expert, so understand that what follows is not an attack on one person or a set of people or whatever. It's an attack on over-arcing themes.

Let me start by getting my biggest pet peeve out in the open: I hate that nerdcore is even considered a sub-genre of rap. The people who decided rap wasn't nerdy clearly hadn't listened to much rap. Besides the U-N-I track with a chorus about Nintendo controllers, the rap I listen to involves people who rhyme about their shoe obsessions, a group that names themselves after kung-fu B-movies, a guy who has multiple personalities based off comic book characters, Kool Keith, and, hell, even Lil' Wayne referencing The Gremlins. Sure, they may be gangster overall, but since when is that incompatible with a little geekery?

That pet peeve opens up perhaps my biggest disagreement with the nerdcore movement, which is that it's exclusive as hell. I know that a lot of things are, and a lot of things I am involved in are, but the revelry that nerdcore fans take in being fans of an exclusive moment is legendary. I know nerds get off on being better than everyone, and that shit pisses me off generally, but never more so than when it turns what I feel is an inclusive genre into something about making privileged people feel better about themselves.

I know people may not agree that rap is inclusive as, in particular, so-called mainstream rap tends to talk about the very specific experiences of people engaging in criminal behavior from very specific types of neighborhoods. I'm aware. But the difference lies entirely in the ways in which these situations are presented, the ways in which language is used.

Nerdcore songs, as far as I can tell, go like this: "Reference, reference, reference, reference/reference, reference." It's the musical equivalent of Meet the Spartans. Now, rap references a lot of shit too, and tends to get meta at times, but it doesn't referencethings so that you feel good about understanding said reference ("Holy shit, I program with ruby too! I AM amazing!" versus "Oh cool, I know who the ice creamers are"), it does so because it makes sense at the time. Additionally, as I have argued before, rap teaches you and draws you into its world. The first time you hear something about birds you may be totally confused, but after a track or two (or another listen) you'll have figured that shit out, no problem.

No one exemplifies this better than Disszee Rascal. Most rappers use regional slang, but Dizzee comes from the region of London's East End, making his slang have a whole mess of back-story most U.S. listeners know little about. Yet, look at his track "Jezebel":

"Constant boasting bragging to her friends/Juiced every boy in the ends"

It doesn't matter if you've never heard the word juiced used in that way before--if you don't figure out it's meaning the first time around, you'll have gotten it by the second. It invites you in, as opposed to songs about Star Wars, which invite you in...if you happen to already have a fair bit of knowledge about Star Wars.

The exclusion of nerdcore largely gets my goat because it's just so damn white. Now, I'm white. I come from a white state. I live in a white place. But, despite it's diversity, I'd be a fool not to recognize rap's black roots. And while I know that not every black person is from the hood, nor is hip-hop entirely made by people from the hood, the fact of the matter is that some rappers are and, being from that situation, they hardly had time to sit around and play lots of D&D and use IRC. And to call your genre of music after that specific type of rap (geeksta, anyone?) smacks of an inability to get just what white privilege is and why it's a bad thing. It's basically: "Sorry about all that, poor people of color, but is it cool if we semi-mock music you use to express yourself in order to talk about things that we exclude you from? Also, we will use this music to talk about how we are oppressed. Because, dude, we sooo are."

I don't want to end there, on a note that makes me sound like the white guiltiest Liberal Arts student ever, so have this less intelligent thought--I also hate nerdocre because a lot of it seems to be in the rap-paraody arena, wherein rhyming words=rap! It's like, have you bitches ever heard of flow!?

As usual, it's early morning, and I haven't had a chance to peep it yet. Apparently, though, 2 hours are devoted entirely to Weezy; I'm just wondering if it's going to be music videos, new footage, or what. The other half of the DVD (yes, it's 4 hours long) is devoted to MCs like T.I., Gucci Mane, Nikki Minaj, Beanie Sigel, and others.

Grab it at MixtapeTorrent.com and let me know how it is. I'll try and give it a watch tonight or tomorrow, but I'm in overload-mode. The fog is rolling in and a research methods midterm looms on the horizon.

Also when is someone going to make a DJ Khaled alarm clock? Just think about--what would wake up in the morning better than heading this: I MAKE HIT RECORDS! DIS FOR THE HOOD! WE RICH! WE NEVER GONNA STOP! WE GOT MONEY! WE THE BEST!!!!!

Props to Panda Toes for the hookup on a dope UK rapper I've never heard of: GoldieLocks. Shit is grimy, with clear garage influence. God, they are doing some nice shit on the other side of the pond; peep the overalls:

The kid Frisco can flow, too. Before signing on to this, though, a small caveat: I went bonkers over Lady Sovereign when her singles were dropping everywhere, but Public Warning was a lukewarm letdown. Ever since Dizzee Rascal's Boy in Da Corner I've been hungry for hot UK bangers, and admittedly have a tendency to over-hype the next hipster chick out of London.

That said, GoldieLocks is worth peeping. More tracks over on MySpace. I particularly recommend "Drug DeeLa." Also, check out the greatest play on a Jay-Z album title ever. What a flier.

Update: It has been pointed out to me that the word 'banger' is now retired from usage in rap blogs. Anything to say about this, Jessica?

Only two more days left in February, snitches. Winter will soon be over for those of you not blessed with a slice of the Pacific Ocean to call home--but hey, look on the bright-side my snowbound, frozen friends: the less time spent outside the more time for things like, um, reading blogs.

Miss Info has the hookup on Weezy busting a move in Newark. Predictably fuzzy, shaky footage shot from the audience, but impressive nonetheless; even in ultra-low-resolution, Weezy's grin is apparent, looking something like the Cheshire Cat. Dude must really be enjoying himself. See also: Lil Wayne pays a visit to his alma mater, and DJ Storm & Lil Wayne - Drank Epidemic Vol 12.3.

OnSmash gets stic.man of dead prez to speak out about the Evergreen College incident (Previously). Stic seems pretty laid back during the interview, and gives props where due: "What I want to say about Evergreen State is that they definitely got some heart up there." Real talk.

Nah Right has been picking on Prodigy of late, but I can't say that eskay was off in posting this list, culled from P's own blog. There's not much better than when rappers blog! Might make for a good section here at WG. Kanye, I'm looking at you and your incessant posting about lame architecture. Spend some money.

Wale did a track with Bun B that made the blog rounds briefly before kid's recorld label cracked down. If you really want to hear it though, it shouldn't be too hard to find "Go Mode" somewhere on the old internets. Information wants to be free, haters.

The leftovers: Maxim reviews Nigger sans an official copy; URB interviews Kids in the Hall; and Wiz Khalifa drops a free over "Dey Know."

Lastly, a new track found its way to my inbox last night: The Camp f. Slaine - Little Story. Shit bumps and will be on the Camp's debut album, The Campaign, dropping April 1st.

Update: Fresh from Miss Info, celebrity gossip: Lil Wayne back with Nivea.

Last Update: I swear, this is the final update on this roundup--I couldn't resist posting it. Princess of Crime Mob on a new track, "Pretty Rave Girl." Props to FADER for this. I've been a fan of everything that Crime Mob has done since they were in fucking high school. Though Diamond has been grabbing all the headlines lately (and rightly so), this one from Princess is on some different shit. As FADER says, Princess rapping on some "slight-screwed pre-teen trance" makes for a good listen.

I was feeling a little left out of the theme post game around here, so I took the iniative and came up with Mixtape Madness.

The concept breaks down like this--there's a whole lotta music out there and absolutely no real way to be on top of the "Next Big Thing" and obviously that is the most important part of being a music fan. So every week I am going to download a random mixtape (preferably from an artist completely unknown to me), give it a few spins, and write about it here.

Now, I went into this project expecting that most of what I'd be doing would be making fun of a whole lot of truly terrible mixtapes and while I still believe this, the first one I picked actually turned out to be...sorta decent.

The following tracks are the one that caught my attention the most. Despite what I said above, the first has a dope beat and a clever rap game/video game analogy going on. The second is a nice little Wu sample and is for my sneaker loving frenz:

zShare - Castalvania
zShare - K.R.E.A.M.

Torrent

F-U M.F. is a great place to start. Off the disc that taught me how to rock baby blue, Matthew, this track is the album opener and Keith wastes no time telling haters that they can suck his dick. "Standin' like you running shit, you ain't the fuckin' president! / Posin' wit ugly bitches in your video who take AIDS medicine!"

There's something completely gruesome and ominous about this beat. "Yeah, you been rappin' for twenty-thousand years and you ain't got your fuckin' deal yet?" In the end Keith starts to describe how he's going to amputate the haters' faces right off of their collective skulls. Other anger off Matthew comes in skit form with Recoupment, and the violent second track: 27 Shots. "Tell your A & R and his wife to get out my fuckin' life! Twenty-seven shots!"

As dark as the shit on Matthew is, No Chorus, off First Come, First Served is even more macabre. Keith takes on his Dr. Dooom persona and demonstrates how to conduct the off-beat rhyme: "I hope your bitch is in the audience, your wife too: that's your fanbase." Keith takes some pretty open shots at rap-industry big-wigs--though he doesn't go so far as to name-names, he makes it apparent who he's talking about. Definitely a favorite Keith track of all time.

See also on Spankmaster: Jealous and Haters. No explanations needed here, the pithy titles capture their essence quite well.

On I Don't Believe You, Keith's spends three minutes denying everything your favorite rapper has ever said.

Perhaps Keith's greatest affront to the haters comes in the form of an Intro on 1997's legendary Black Elvis. This is truly a song that must be heard to be understood: a bizarre, tongue-in-cheek serious of questions transitions seamlessly into an effortless two-minute verse during which Keith proclaims, "That's right, tomorrow I plan to boo your shows at the Apollo!" A rap classic that cements Keith as the king of real talk.

I know I'm missing a few gems, specifically off Kool Keih Presents: Thee Undertakerz, but my mp3 library is a little thin after the recent crash. This, however, is a sufficient introduction to the way Keith absolutely exorcises his enemies. Real talk.

Can't wait to see how this show goes down. I'm suspecting it's going to be more of an electro-dance party than a showcase of Wale's skills on the mic. Props to Zoe for the info on this show--it almost slipped right under my radar, as Noise Pop is a festival that doesn't exactly cater to rap fans. More details after the show. Bet.

I'm home now.

Entertainment Weekly has a track-by-track breakdown of The Roots' forthcoming album, Rising Down. Oxymorons aside, they make it sound like a winner, though it is unfortunate to hear there's a Fall Out Boy collabo on the disc.

Fresh shit via PandaToes: a DJ Hostility remix of Flo-Rida's "Get Low" (zShare). A bit of electronic flavor for all you vocoder fetishists out there.

There's a Cool Kids freestyle from London making its way around the rap-o-sphere (getting crowded in here, isn't it?). I actually haven't even listened to it yet, but the Cool Kids are our darlings. We are blogs. We love the Cool Kids. Respect our taste 'n' shit.

Props to Crate Kings for the pointer to a dope Alchemist interview. Crate Kings might be the only hip-hop blog that actually does anything original. Respect where respect is due.

Judging by this track, I'm going to say that Timbaland fell off (or at least should stick to producing Justin Timberlake tracks), and Flo-Rida is all hype. Like honestly, what the fuck is Timberland doing in this video? ...When you're wearing headphones and laugh out loud at something, you know it's ridiculous.

And since we're looking at On Smash shit, are they for real noting that Swizz Beats is a legendary hip-hop producer? I'm perplexed. Last I checked his best work was with Ruff Ryders circa 1997. I'm not surprised his face doesn't show up in this video.

Honestly, Sound Off is the most ridiculous hip-hop blog ever. See today's topic: Looking for a Soulja Girl?" They also recently reported that Lil Wayne may be ghostwriting some of Dre's Detox. I don't buy it.

Rosenberg's got some nice Dilla and Big L tribtue mixes. 4 discs, to be exact. RIP.

I'm off to bed. And I can tell you that Peter B'S is a shitty bar, no matter what anyone tells you. Also, Midwest haters suckit: the west coast is 60 degrees and earthquake free!

Update: forgot to include this new track, Chicago Falcon, by Wale. Stumbled across it at SOHH. It's alright.

Why are people hating on DJ drops?

When the new Clipse, We Got It For Cheap Vol. 3 dropped, I downloaded the mix hosted by DJ Drama, virtually assuring me a disc overflowing with gunshots and body-drops--not to mention "Gangta grizzilz!" no less than one dozen times. And yet, this is the album I downloaded. In fact, I chose it over the raw version. Cats want to hate on the DJ interrupts, when the truth is, those interrupts make tracks.

DJ Drama is no one without his name. Neither is Clinton Sparks. People hate hearing their voices come in at :38, but you can bet those same fans run straight to a mix that has DJ Drama or Clinton Sparks plastered on it. That shit get seeded on bittorrent, and it's because DJs like Sparks and Drama are quality distributors. People don't see that they redefined the rap game to model the crack game. When people want that raw, they head to the dealer they trust. It's the same business model.

As much as we want to hate on DJ drops in favor of pure music, it's obvious that chants like "It's Mr. Thanksgiving!" shouted over and over that make discs fresh. Blasting Drama mixes, windows down, is a statement that makes for a memorable musical experience. Purists be damned: this is pure-fucking-hip-hop. Distributors are part of the game.

Circumventing the RIAA is what it's about. Rap music beat Radiohead to the punch years ago. Respect to mixtape DJs everywhere--yes, even DJ Khaled.

I'm fucking in love with Kid Sister.

My hero. And a sweet remix, too. These kids are so Chicago hipster. This is what's going on. Some day, we will look back on the late 2000s as we look back on disco--I can't wait.

We all thought the most insane thing we had ever seen was Rick Ross jumping of a bridge, but allow me to submit Rick Ross...shirtless:

And if that is't enough note that Rick Ross' piece is his own face. In gold. Amazing!

Yesterday Evergreen College--hippy dippy West Coast liberal arts alma matter of Simpsons creator Matt Groening--held a forum to address a riot that broke out last week during a dead prez concert on campus. In this video it looks like the kids are saying it didn't get violent until the SWAT team busted out the pepper spray. To be fair, the kids also boogled a laptop and a radar gun from one of the cruisers they trashed (seriously guys, the radar gun? Nice touch).

On the one hand, I can't help but feel like everyone lost in this situation: dead prez probably won't be booked for another college show any time soon; the Evergreen prez pretty much grounded the students after giving them a stern talking to; and I think we can all agree the pigs suffered a blow to their collective ego. But on the other hand, I mean come on, fuck the police! Tell me you don't just a little get a kick out of these pictures (and check it, at least they recycle!):

Kidz in the Hall - Geniuses Need Love Too (Mixtape)

Haven't had a chance to spin this yet, since I'm sitting in class with major sciatic nerve pain and no headphones, but I anticipate that it will be stellar. Blaze one for me.

Update: I'm putting it out there even though it's February, "Do What Grown Folks Do" is already a classic. Chicago, What the fuck is up! These beats are butter.

When does the tour start?

The tour starts on the 29th. I’ve done a few things, you know, I’ve done several tours since this album’s been out, and I toured pretty much non-stop from April when the album came out until November, really December. I was pretty much on the road until December.

That’s the longest I’ve been home in years. It’s been years since I’ve had this much time off.

What have you been doing with all your time?

I finished an EP that I’m putting out right after this called Truth is Here, 10 new songs. And then me and Ant started working on a new album. We’re just basically trying to figure out the direction to go on the next one. Just making music, having fun. That’s not the title of it, but yeah, the last one was so intense in terms of being such a moving experience, that I was really ready to start having fun rapping. Still, I’m not able to stray too far from the important things to me, but I don’t think it will be as detail-driven as the last one was. The last one was really pretty detailed and thorough and every single thing on there was autobiographical, that’s why I called it the Undisputed Truth, because there’s nothing on there that’s not precise and there’s no exaggerating on that album, there’s no saying things because they’re fun to say. Even the rap songs are like that to me.

Is hip-hop dead?

I think it’s great. I think the thing is, you have to see the whole picture of it. The problem—and the reason why so many people are mad at hip-hop—is because in the last 5 or 10 years hip-hop expanded and got so diverse that these different groups of people that don’t relate on life, don’t relate and agree on music either. This new influx of kids getting involved in hip-hop with this underground thing, they don't feel and don't like what the street listens to, because they don’t relate to it and the street doesn’t relate to a lot of underground stuff. And, you know, even the more mainstream shit like, people are doing different things. The only problem is that we’re not looking at the whole thing. People look at the part of hip-hop that they don’t like. They say look at the bad shape hip-hop is in, it’s not bad, it’s so diverse now and touches so many different types of people and so many different experiences are expressed through it, that they pick the parts that they don't like.

I have people on my label like that. This underground independent thing comes with a lot of elitism, there’s people on my label that hate 50 Cent or Soulja Boy saying that’s bad for rap, but it’s not. It’s not worse for rap than Mac Lethal. It’s good for the people that like it bad for the people that don't like it. It’s all relative to your point of view. I’ve loved hip-hop and rap since I was 7 or 8-years-old and I have experience in all of that. I like it all.

Didja guys know that Wiz Khalifa has a new video? Didja? Didja, didja, didja!? Well if you someone managed to miss it, here it is:

This may just seem like some blog sheepery, because damned if everyone isn't posting this bitch, but I'm choosing to turn it into an educational opportunity instead, which is to say that based on my limited ability to speak Arabic, that shit definitely looks accurate. Sure, it's hella formal, but none the less, I commend you Wiz. Most people can't transliterate Arabic, let alone use it correct, so well done. Though, I would note you'd be hard pressed to find an actual belly dancer who looked like that. Sorry man.

I found out I didn't make it into this fancy-schmancy poetry seminar last week so I skipped class to eat ice cream and watch Rize (LaChapelle, 1995) on Google Video. Inform that information with the data that Singin in the Rain (Donen and Kelly, 1952) is my all-time favorite movie and you probably know what I'm excited for this weekend.

No? Still in the dark? Need a hint? Guh, fiiiiiiiine...

Psh, duh! Step Up 2: THE STREETS (Chu, 2008), ya dummy! It's not where you're from, it's where you're at!!!

Tell ya all about it tomorrow. Swearz.

God, I love the Yay Area. At once I both understand and fail to comprehend everything they are talking out, but who cares, because they are damned enthusiastic about it.

Plus, E-40 and Lil Jon? Oh yea. Check out the (clean) version of "Turf Drop", courtesy of Cocaine Blunts:

zShare

I caught the Grammys and all but I didn't get a look at Nas's attire. Also, check out how totally over his last album he is.

On a related note: when this album drops, does that mean I'm gonna get to see everyone in the media grope around trying to decide whether or not they're allowed to say The N Word? Because oh man, feeding frenzy.

I'm sleepy as fuck. Though I've been hitting the books hard for the past few weeks, it doesn't mean that I've neglected hip-hop--rather, I've just neglected to post about it. Indeed, there is shit going down.

Let's start with the dumbest thing I've seen this week, yes, it's Kanye West at the Grammys getting clowned on by the producers. "You gonna play music on me?" Man, how big is this guy's ego? Seriously, I've had enough of him. Graduation was alright, with a few hot tracks, but "greatest musician in the world?" Smh at this one. Humility missed this one.

Weezy been indicted and Game gets 60 days. Not a good week for my boys.

Lupe Fiasco has something to say about racism. Personally I just think he should keep his mouth shut. After managing to slander Tribe, dude needs to fall back, and by fall back I mean never release another album. Real talk.

There's a mixtape floating around out there of the samples used in Nas' classic, Illmatic. I hear he has another classic due out soon, and if you haven't seen it yet, you better peep the newest "commercial" for Nigger.

Get a load of the cover for the forthcoming Kids in the Hall album that we're salivating over.

The Cool Kids have some real talk for Ghostface, who recently slammed fans with a YouTube video admonishing them for not buying Big Doe Rehab. I guess the Pitchfork Award wasn't enough for him, then? As the Cool Kids say, "Artists that wanna protect their music or [say] don’t bootleg or don’t download, what are you gonna do? It’s like trying to stop everybody from doing drugs. You gonna tell somebody to not smoke weed?"

That's all I got for now. Time to sleep to the sound of barking sea lions.

One of the pictures of Nas in last month's XXL #100 had a pictures of him with a giant (and ballin') N necklace. I figured that was just Nas being Nas until I saw the giant H in this Yung Joc video (don't watch too much of it--eskay is on the money when he calls Joc a corny mofo):

So I've given We Got It 4 Cheap, Vol. 3 a more thorough listen and while it's still an amazing piece of work, like Status in't Hood, I have some concerns.

Unlike Mr. Breihan, however, I'm a little more concerned about the following from "Re-Up Intro", which seems to be escalating the Lil Wayne beef:

Sorry, but I don't respect who you applaudin'/Lil nigga flow but his metaphor is borin'/Don't make me turn daddy's lil girl to orphan/That'd mean I'd have to kill Baby like abortion

It's not just that I don't want my two favorite rapper(s) feuding with each other as, like Brett, I'm worried about the potential for real violence. Both groups are in such tenuous places, in terms on commercial success/respect, that we really don't need another career-ending tragedy.

With Weezy's recent legal troubles who knows if he'll respond and if he does, how. Tha Carter III is looking more and more like hip-hops version of Chinese Democracy and as far as I know he has no mixtapes scheduled to drop, but the dude is prolific and it's unlikely there won't be some sort of response within the next few months.

I can't say I'm disappointed with Clipse--it's a hell of a mixtape and even as I love Wayne, I respect the power of that diss. It's more, that these are two sets of artist who seem to get the idea of doing what you love, working the grind, and moving rap to the next level. It'd be a shame for them to take each other out, especially over something so unimportant as BAPE.

I can't upload songs right now (computer issues), but if you haven't heard it yet you can listen to the track here.

In honor of Super Tuesday, the first black president¹:

¹I know, I know, groan. Cut me some slack, I got class.

I've been trying to find a way to write about Wllliam "Upski" Wimsatt's book Bomb the Suburbs for a few months now, but the real truth of it is that I'm bad at reviewing things I like. I can critique until the cows come home, but what I like I just...like.

In any case, this book is awesome. Written by a white graffiti artist from Chicago it'll make you incredibly nostalgic for the old school days even if, like me, you never got to see them. More like a zine than a book, really, it deals well with urbanization, graffiti, hip-hop, and race. In fact, it does the last so well I feel like it should be required reading for white hip-hop fans.

Like any book from a specific time (say, Steal This Book) some of what it talks about is gone or unfeasible, but the rest of the content (including stuff like interviews with heavyweights like Wendy Day and former groupies) is awesome enough to cover up for that.

So check it out. You can read some excepts here and purchase it at your nearest internet retailer. Or use a library. Whatevers good.

Like a blogger lemming, here I am, another person on the internet letting y'all know that the Re-Up Gang released We Got It 4 Cheap, Vol. 3 this weekend, with a quality sound mix (and DJ Drama-less) version being put on their site today, which you can cop here.

Right now I'm digging their version of "Roc Boys", because it was always a sweet beat and now it has some decent rhymes on it, but I'm sure that will change once I move beyond the initial flash.

I want summer now and I want it in Brooklyn. I'm sick of falling on the ground when I walk:

I've had this joint stuck in my head all day, which seems as good of a reason as any to post this:

Even though it happened on Saturday, I just found out that Tony Silver, director of the seminal Style Wars, has passed away. Fortunately we live in the internet age and so you can spend some time today being able to watch one of the best presentations of hip-hop in the '80s for free:

It's always fun when The New York Times writes about hip-hop, like they do today with this article on All $Star's latest mixtape, $tarlito's Way II. They manage not to sound like complete fuddy-duddies, and yet still seem as if they just discovered that gangster rap involves a lot of swagger:

"Somehow this sounds even better coming from the same guy responsible for a (great) track called “Gangsta-est Swag of the Year.” On these two CDs bluster and self-consciousness fight to a draw."

In any case, you can cop the mixtape in question here

So I haven't been able to give Independence [the Mixtape] Day a full spin. But it ain't cause it sucks (at least not as far as I can tell so far yet); I can't stop listening to the first song:

Currency's Sole Man is the freshest thing I've discovered this year since Animal Collective. It's retro thump with Pharrell-meets-young-Jay-Z flow with Weezy's vocabulary of absurdity and knack for fluidity in shifting gears between narrative and image.

It's one of those tracks that's got me excited about the state of hip hop and that's got me excited about this guy's career. And what's more is that I'm not even to the point where I'm ready to stop just enjoying the song and start figuring out why the hell it's so appealing. i don't even wanna pick it apart at this point.

I will later. And you can bet you'll hear about it. And the rest of the tape if I ever get past this gem. It's gonna be a tough act to follow, that's for sure.

Here's the link to the torrent one more time for those of you in the back via MixtapeTorrent.com.

Seen this one yet? It's made the blog rounds--for some reason the elite NY hip-hop blogging syndicate still has a soft spot in their hearts for Fat Joe. His new tracks just pop up everywhere, and if you check the blogosphere on a slow day, you're likely to see something about Joey Crack still lingering on the front page like a bad fart in the air.

But no, "300 Brolic" isn't a song about the Joe's weight (hard to believe, I know). This song is about so much more. This song is about values. The values of Sparta, baby; this is where we fight, this is where we die! (Cue gritty footage of the Bronx.)

There's a lot of phallic symbolism in this video. Lots of missiles and bombs and shiny-steel tubes rising skyward. There's even some housing projects that look like dicks. Maybe I'm giving this video too thorough of a reading, but from my understanding the movie 300 was made to provide a kind of homosexual, misogynistic outlet for highly-aggressive high school boys (who are mostly homophobes themselves). Now we've got Joey sampling it--no, not sampling, constructing an entire song around a 300 motif--and then filling the video with erections.

He also raps about brutal castration ending with the severed penis being stuffed into the victim's mouth (it's part of the chorus, in fact). Is Fat Joe trying to tell us something?

Anyway, I'm just saying.

He's more animated in this thing than I've ever seen him. We're used to Papa Joe sitting down, or at least filmed from the shoulders up doing a bit of swaying back and forth; but to see him at full-length, and actually doing some semblance of a dance? It reminds me of the time I saw Rick Ross run from a car and plummet off a bridge into the Pacific (I was speechless).

Needless to say this activity is a big step for Fat Joe. It's not like he was ever hiding from his weight, (his moniker does bear the prefix 'Fat'), but he truly has embraced the fact that he is indeed the Elephant in the Room (drops in March, fools). I have to give a slow clap for that clever album title. Say it loud, fat and proud.

Oh, and did I mention that Fat Joe is biting Lil Wayne, now? Listen to the verse and tell me he didn't completely steal Weezy's delivery, enunciation and word aspiration. I'm saying c'mon Joey, give it up. And NYC bloggers? The honeymoon should be way-fucking-over by now.

And speaking of bullshit in the NYC hip-hop blogosphere: why the fuck is everyone posting the new Blood Raw video? Dude is a Young Jeezy ripoff at a 7th grade reading level. I seriously think the cats in the NYC blog scene get paid to push this trash.

If you don't like guns, gunshots or bullets, then this video isn't for you. If, however, you're in the mood for some heaters, peep LA the Darkman & Willie The Kid with "Dumping the Ruger."