Seen this one yet? It's made the blog rounds--for some reason the elite NY hip-hop blogging syndicate still has a soft spot in their hearts for Fat Joe. His new tracks just pop up everywhere, and if you check the blogosphere on a slow day, you're likely to see something about Joey Crack still lingering on the front page like a bad fart in the air.

I considered titling this post "I'm in the best shape of my life," (uttered by beloved Joe as the camera performs a sweeping pan out), but then I realized that the foundation for this beat is made up of only the best testosterone laden lines culled from last year's hyper-masculine, jingoist hit 300. The absurdity encapsulated in this almost made me forget the endearing moment of self-deprecating humor that he started the track with.

But no, "300 Brolic" isn't a song about the Joe's weight (hard to believe, I know). This song is about so much more. This song is about values. The values of Sparta, baby; this is where we fight, this is where we die! (Cue gritty footage of the Bronx.)

There's a lot of phallic symbolism in this video. Lots of missiles and bombs and shiny-steel tubes rising skyward. There's even some housing projects that look like dicks. Maybe I'm giving this video too thorough of a reading, but from my understanding the movie 300 was made to provide a kind of homosexual, misogynistic outlet for highly-aggressive high school boys (who are mostly homophobes themselves). Now we've got Joey sampling it--no, not sampling, constructing an entire song around a 300 motif--and then filling the video with erections.

He also raps about brutal castration ending with the severed penis being stuffed into the victim's mouth (it's part of the chorus, in fact). Is Fat Joe trying to tell us something?

Anyway, I'm just saying.

He's more animated in this thing than I've ever seen him. We're used to Papa Joe sitting down, or at least filmed from the shoulders up doing a bit of swaying back and forth; but to see him at full-length, and actually doing some semblance of a dance? It reminds me of the time I saw Rick Ross run from a car and plummet off a bridge into the Pacific (I was speechless).

Needless to say this activity is a big step for Fat Joe. It's not like he was ever hiding from his weight, (his moniker does bear the prefix 'Fat'), but he truly has embraced the fact that he is indeed the Elephant in the Room (drops in March, fools). I have to give a slow clap for that clever album title. Say it loud, fat and proud.

Oh, and did I mention that Fat Joe is biting Lil Wayne, now? Listen to the verse and tell me he didn't completely steal Weezy's delivery, enunciation and word aspiration. I'm saying c'mon Joey, give it up. And NYC bloggers? The honeymoon should be way-fucking-over by now.

And speaking of bullshit in the NYC hip-hop blogosphere: why the fuck is everyone posting the new Blood Raw video? Dude is a Young Jeezy ripoff at a 7th grade reading level. I seriously think the cats in the NYC blog scene get paid to push this trash.